He Died…

Dear ones, We often color a person as all good or all bad when they die. To grieve well, we must see the lost person in all of their complexities. We must express every wish, all the conversations that were never had. At least that is what a book I read said… My brother is…

NYC Lady Bug

  A lady bug flew into my room. It was 2017 in NYC.  It was September. I had that broken heart and the lady bug didn’t belong there. The noises were loud. The smell of cement and rain filled the air. She was there though. She sat on my finger. She gave me hope. It…

Nose Cutters

One of my favorite things to do is watch people. I know how creepy that sounds but I am definitely not the only one. I like to listen, to watch, to learn. Right now I listen to the sounds of teenagers who talk about the face lifts they will get in a few years, the…

My Wedding Anniversary?

Yesterday I felt so sad but had no idea why. Now I know. The ocean. I went to her yesterday. It was largely an accident but somehow I ended up on a beach. The ocean was trying to tell me that my wedding anniversary would have happened the next day; today. She wanted me to think about…

DNA Testing

“Don’t do it, it takes your DNA. Who knows what they do with it. It could be used for eugenic’s research,” she said as we walked towards Target. “Yeah but I don’t know who my biological mom is and thats the only way I can possibly find her.” It came in the mail yesterday. The…

Berry Tree Days

I thought of you yesterday. There were berries. Wild berries. I thought of us eating the berries and climbing the trees. I thought of us going through the woods. The way that we would fight over who would get to climb which tree. The way that I would miss you when we would fight. I…

Don’t Trust your Gut

A while back a teacher pointed out that the facts of a relationship is what makes up that relationship not the point of view of the relationship. For people who have had many traumatic experiences in life, it is super important to look at the facts of your relationships and not rely on your gut…

The Butterfly Wing

We stopped at Lowe’s to get some flower pots. “Look, a butterfly!” It was fluttering on the ground in the middle of the parking lot. “It has a broken wing.” We lingered for a moment. I could feel the we need to do something feeling rise up in my chest. My mom felt it too,…

Random Beach Trips

I love many things about my best friend Miranda but the top of the icing was when we were in her car on the way to the beach at 3:30 in the afternoon on Sunday afternoon. “I just checked the weather, there might be isolated thunderstorms but they might stop around seven if they do…

His Yellow Shirt

This is a spoken word/poetic story that was also performed at The Moth in L.A. on Valentine’s Day in 2017.  This writing expresses the depths of my feelings towards divorce and along with that my questioning religion. “He was wearing that yellow shirt. His eyes sparkled.”