A while back a teacher pointed out that the facts of a relationship is what makes up that relationship not the point of view of the relationship.
For people who have had many traumatic experiences in life, it is super important to look at the facts of your relationships and not rely on your gut (uneasy feeling or intuition) alone. Your gut may be wrong. Your gut may be exhausted from all of the self-protection.
It takes a lot of bravery to feel discomfort and press forward in relationships of all sorts from the business world to a friendship to a romantic relationship.
Don’t trust your gut so much.
Do write down the facts. Do write down your point of view.
Do read about attachment styles in psychology. Do notice your triggers. Do notice your parent’s triggers. Do notice similarities. Do read about what love is and what it is not. Do read about boundaries.
Do read Nina Burrowes, “The Courage to be Me,” (link below) if you have suffered sexual abuse.” In one part of the book, she talks about opening your window of tolerance. Learning what that meant was instrumental for me.
Learn all the things you can.
Don’t trust a broken gut.