I am capable of all things. My superior moral complex kicks in. I tell it to sit down. I know I need to let people in. I need to feel them again instead of self-protecting. I want to put myself in his shoes. I’d like to put myself in hers. I used to do that. I walked around wearing shoes too big and shoes too small.
Shoes too big and shoes too small, I wear them with blisters and all.
I am capable of all things.
I always used to say, “I am capable of infidelity so I protect my relationships from that when I need too. I am capable because I am human and human is capable of all things good and bad.”
What am I made of in my core?
I went through a period of cursing cursing cursing. She said to me, “Grace maybe this is who you really are.” She gave me this look of judgment. She had condemned me. I had not lived up to her standard.
I could hate her for that and sometimes I do. She left me when I needed her friendship. I moved on without her. She was the false friend. There are friends who stick closer than a brother. Not her. She stuck around until her humanity was shown. Her rage, her meanness. She ran away shortly after and blamed me. No one had seen that side of her. The intimacy scared her. She threw me out before I could throw her. I would not have thrown her out though because I am capable of all things. I am. I am. “Goodbye my dear friend. I did love you. I did.”
I am capable of all things. I am capable of rage. I could kill a man. I don’t believe that but it is in us all. We are human and we can conquer our emotions. We are human and we can choose. We are human and we are powerful.
Shoes too big and shoes too small, I wore them with blisters and all. I did wear them. I wore them out.
I want to wear my shoes right now. I want the right color. I like the right fit. I want to care. I want to let go. I want to wear my shoes and see yours. I want to wear me and know you. I want that. I do I do.
I am capable of all things. I know this to be true and it is this truth that keeps me from hating you. I could be you. I could be.
He said, “No matter how difficult your life has been, part of the grace on your life is who you were not born as.” I think about what he said from time to time. He is losing his mind now. He is almost gone.
Often, we have wishes. I have wishes or I think I do for what might could be changed. The truth is, “I don’t want to be anyone else but me. I don’t want any other body than mine. I want me. I am me. I am content with me. I do like me. Who is this voice that tells me that isn’t true?” This invader, this foreigner.
I am capable of all things. I wear my shoes now blisters and all. I won’t wears yours. I wear my shoes now. I look at yours. I appreciate yours. I listen to your speech.
I hope we can both see we are both in this tree of humanity. I hope you will wear your shoes too and see you don’t really want to be anyone other than you.