If I could give wisdom to any young woman now it would be you need good friends. I married before I knew what love was. I had boyfriend after boyfriend without having strong friendships. I was married for a year before God gave me Katie. I will never forget our meeting. She was sitting on a couch. She looked like she had been through a war. In her own way, she had.
She looked at me, “Erica.” She said. Erica was one of my best friends and old roommates. I didn’t know who this woman was but if she knew Erica I knew I would love her! Katie became my best friend. Erica called it! Before I knew Katie, when Erica and I lived together she would say, “You would like Katie. They had met on a mission trip to Guatemala. Katie. She taught me what love was.
We lived in the same room for one year in NYC. She gave me unconditional love. She compromised with me. We would talk about things from turning the light off to going to brunch. She would listen. I would challenge her. She challenged me. She stayed present with me. We got on each other’s nerves and still learned how to handle each other with as much respect as possible. We had a few fights. We came out on the other side. We judged each other. We corrected that judgment. We prayed and still pray together for hours on end. Oh, and God did we laugh!
PRESENTING Katie and her TINDER DATING MONOLOGUE: There will be no more online dating! I am going to read, hang out with myself, and talk to cats! I’m just gonna say, “Hey buddy I can’t meet up with you! Good luck with dating! It’s never gonna happen! Good luck with you’re Iceland girlfriend that I found on OK Cupid!!!”
(She takes a breath)
“I just can’t imagine! They went scuba diving and everything and he is still talking it up to me on Tinder!”
“I did learn that the hot guys go to the gym on Fridays! I was actually surprised! I thought it would be all women! I’m in a funny mood right now. You know I did the research. Thirty to forty percent of those on Tinder are in relationships all ready. That’s a high stat!”
I bought her Kombucha because I knew it would make her smile. She made me breakfast. I made her dinner. I gave her chocolate. We drank wine and when I cried last year for six months straight, Katie tucked me in at night. She had her own thoughts, her own opinions. She advocated for my heart as her lips zipped.
We both knew we would need to part ways after the summer. She needed a break from my sadness. I needed space to lose it. Now, she is across the country. I didn’t know love until I met Katie.
Women and men forget that their partner in some ways takes the place of your best friends. You are with your partner literally all the time. They rub on you. You must have good friends before you can seriously choose a partner. There are many other things you need in the dating process but good friends is a must. You need a standard for love. A healthy standard. God gave me Katie and I let her love in. She changed me.
I have many beautiful friends now. The best thing about your friends is you can only go so deep with each one. Each one provides a different outlook. As you look at your friends you have a clearer perspective on which character types bring what out of you. It is from these friends you can learn and grow but also see what type of friendship can bloom in a way that may be suitable for a partner in the future.
A man is obviously not a woman (umm first date question I want children can you make those ha) but if he can’t go as deep spiritually as me and Katie with Jesus, If he can’t laugh, if he can’t talk it out, if he can’t problem-solve…
Well, I will just take my Katie. Thanks!
There is a scripture in the Bible that says, Greater love has no one than this, to lay one’s life for his friends. You never know what you would do until the moment arises but if she needs me, I will come for her. I love you Katie
Treasures come in the shape of fingers, toes, hearts, and hands, opinions, hugs, laughter, and of course dance.