I looked on a map today. I looked at California, I looked at New York City and then I looked on down to North Carolina. I had a moment of, “Oh that’s why you get the your crazy for moving on a whim slash you are so brave comments.” The other side of the country. I had planned to stay in California for two months. I signed a lease last night.
I washed the floors with a washcloth. I bought beautiful plates but only four. I put them on the counter because I was jealous of the cupboards. “Why do you get to look at them all day? I bought them!” I have pale pink coffee cups that remind me of the grandmother who loved me. I feel so much joy and I don’t know why. It doesn’t matter. I take it in. I went for a walk.
I wanted to see what this new world would be like. There is a plant nursery near-by. I can go say hello whenever I want. I walked into neighborhoods filled with bungalows, cottages, and cement houses. My favorite houses. I walked as a woman waiting to see which man would draw her attention. “You are okay but no.” “You have some of what I want but no.” I came across a light blue house. It was small but not tiny. It looked like a cottage had a baby with a bungalow and sprinkled some cement on the side. My heart stopped. You. I want you.
You are the one I would work for. I enjoyed the moment. I enjoyed. There are flowers everywhere. I touch them every chance I get. I smell them. My favorite trees of Wilmington North Carolina are kind of here too. Not the same species of course. Wilmington has the Southern Live oak. I don’t know their name here but I did learn a beetle is killing many palm trees in L.A.
To be human again…
