To Be Human Again.


I looked on a map today.  I looked at California, I looked at New York City and then I looked on down to North Carolina.  I had a moment of, “Oh that’s why you get the your crazy for moving on a whim slash you are so brave comments.” The other side of the country. I had planned to stay in California for two months.  I signed a lease last night.

I washed the floors with a washcloth.  I bought beautiful plates but only four.  I put them on the counter because I was jealous of the cupboards. “Why do you get to look at them all day? I bought them!” I have pale pink coffee cups that remind me of the grandmother who loved me. I feel so much joy and I don’t know why.  It doesn’t matter.  I take it in.  I went for a walk.


I wanted to see what this new world would be like.  There is a plant nursery near-by.  I can go say hello whenever I want.  I walked into neighborhoods filled with bungalows, cottages, and cement houses.  My favorite houses.  I walked as a woman waiting to see which man would draw her attention. “You are okay but no.” “You have some of what I want but no.” I came across a light blue house.  It was small but not tiny.  It looked like a cottage had a baby with a bungalow and sprinkled some cement on the side.  My heart stopped. You. I want you.

You are the one I would work for.  I enjoyed the moment.  I enjoyed.  There are flowers everywhere.  I touch them every chance I get.  I smell them.  My favorite trees of Wilmington North Carolina are kind of here too.  Not the same species of course.  Wilmington has the Southern Live oak.  I don’t know their name here but I did learn a beetle is killing many palm trees in L.A.

To be human again…

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